How to entertain kids at a wedding

Let’s talk about how to entertain kids at a wedding. Maybe the kids are old enough to be left with a sitter and you don’t need to worry about pumping enough milk or leaving formula, scheduling outings around baby’s nap times, or stressing about separation anxiety anymore. Maybe the kids are in school and long gone are the days of diapers. Whew! But you, veteran mom, know one thing that has remained from those days.

The need for a break has not changed. If anything, the wear and tear of parenthood is beginning to take its toll on you. “Social events” are times when moms get together and sympathize with one another about how exhausting and overwhelming life feels day to day. Sounds strangely like the baby days – only without the spit up right?

Let’s talk about adult-type events – the ones where you can get that type of real-world adult conversation about normal, real-world things instead of more Spongebob. Things like weddings or corporate annual family picnics, for instance. For some of these events, the kids are expected to come, thereby severely limiting your capacity to have that conversation about Merlot vs. Cabernet. These times are the ones where you are charged with doing the impossible: making the kids behave like adults.

Why must we do this to the kids? Kids are not adults. They are miserable pretending to be like us and we are miserable trying to make them be like adults. Everyone’s miserable trying to pretend to be happy. Sounds like a blast.

Ahem. Let’s try again. Adult-type gatherings where children are expected to come would be a lot more manageable with someone to entertain the youngins. (Cue a resounding “AMEN!”) Adults can have their time to discuss politics, football, office drama, floral arrangements, or the bride’s gown without having to wipe up sticky faces, do several rounds of potty runs, or hear the chicken dance again. And again. And again. And again.

Nannies can be hired for the duration of events such as these. CPR-trained and certified childcare professionals can be on-site, close by but separate from the event. They keep the kids entertained with fun games, distractions, and group activities. A nanny can allow everyone to enjoy the family event in their own way.

And you, dear veteran parent, can actually enjoy that Merlot. And another. And maybe a Pinot Noir too….

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